


Personalized

by tealgreenhealingbeam



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: (Benrey is They/Themrey), (I promise this is light-hearted!), (Like... a lotta flowers.), (Tommy's GNC and uses he/him pronouns in this one!), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flowers, Found Family, Hospitalization, Injury Recovery, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29983866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tealgreenhealingbeam/pseuds/tealgreenhealingbeam
Summary: To render personal.To make or alter so as to meet individual needs or inclinations.-Gordon's on day three of his hospital stay.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman/Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta, Gordon Freeman/Tommy Coolatta
Comments: 22
Kudos: 58





	Personalized

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be an almost direct follow-up to Atonement and Enticement, but I don't think that it has to be read to understand this one!
> 
> Content warnings in rough chronological order: lightly detailed to semi-detailed descriptions of pain, very brief implied self-hating thoughts, semi-detailed depictions of withdrawal symptoms (morphine), brief mention of minor surgery.
> 
> If something's missing from this list, please let me know!

Gordon wakes slowly, effort in returning to consciousness like pulling back a velvet curtain. Returning feeling arrives to him in distinct, separate parts. The first place it visits is the end of his right arm. Assuredly, he's felt worse there before- _much_ worse- but the sensations occupying it now are uncomfortable, to put it mildly. Gordon's not sure what the feeling even is, which is... admittedly a bit alarming, though since day one of his hospital stay, every time he's woken up, he forgets most of what's happened leading up to when he falls asleep, so he assumes as much is the case now, too.

The second feeling that comes to him is holy _shit_ is he itchy beneath the splint on his left ankle. He wants to groan aloud when remembering he's stuck with the fucking thing for another four weeks at minimum. He tries not to dwell on it.

The third sensation that comes to Gordon is that he fell asleep sitting up, better for his ribs that way, still sunken in the magpie's nest of pillows and blankets Benrey's accumulated for him. Gordon wanted to object at first, but when he was told the hospital, small and remote as it is, was hardly occupied, and the promise of a much cozier place to spend the next week and a half was too appealing to pass up, Gordon relented and let them assemble this bizarre little conglomeration of comfort, and _god,_ is he so glad Benrey did this for him. Speaking of Benrey.

Gordon blinks his eyes open, slowly taking in the small hospital room as he comes around, and the first thing he sees is Benrey, asleep and head tucked under his chin, resting against his chest, limbs carefully woven around him to avoid jostling his ankle or his shoulder, immobilized and stiff as it is beneath the sling.

He chuckles when noticing there's _even more_ flowers on the windowsill and on the table beneath it than he remembers there being. Gordon's not sure how much they've spent on the many elaborate bouquets and on the flowers themselves, certainly not local and likely coming with a price tag to prove it. Though, Gordon can't hide how happy he is every time he notices the number of wonderfully vibrant blooms has grown, or ignore how enraptured he is whenever watching Tommy and Benrey care for them. Replacing the water, pulling away dead leaves and stems, adjusting their positions so they can better bask in the sun. They're always so gentle and attentive, just as they are with him. It makes Gordon feel wonderfully warm, thinking on how much he's loved.

Benrey stirs, and when they look up at him, a sleepy smile tugging at the corners of their lips, Gordon's thankful for the oxygen running directly to him when his breath catches in his throat at the sight. Almost as if moving on its own, Gordon's hand rises from his side to cup their face, running a tender thumb across their cheek and gazing on in silent wonder. This lasts for only a moment before Benrey decides there needs to be more, and they close the already short distance between them to press their lips to his.

Like a bud opening, Gordon's chest feels like it blooms and unfurls, petals turned up to face the brilliant warmth of the sun for the first time, colors radiant and new. Time is merciful in moving slowly, letting their kiss feel as though it stretches on well beyond when they eventually part. Benrey hums, and tucks their head beneath his chin again, tracing idle shapes and patterns on his good shoulder.

"How you feeling, Gordon?"

"Tired. Super, _super_ tired-" he interrupts himself with an appropriately-timed yawn that Benrey chuckles at. "But I mean... how many different medications do they even have me on right now? Think- I think it makes sense. Bein' tired, I mean. I feel like shit, but, y'know. Better shit. Improved shit than before."

"Like roadkill wearing a suit and tie?"

Gordon wheezes out laughter, caving forward before his ribs and shoulder make him regret it, sending out a pang that causes him to jolt with a stifled outcry. He leans back, shuddering through a chill, then sighs as the last of the pain fades. Benrey's eyes are darting between his face and the sling, concerned expression bordering on panic. Gordon melts that worry away, though, when he leans forward just enough, moving carefully this time, and presses a kiss to their temple.

"Like roadkill wearing a suit and tie."

Benrey snorts, and they resettle against his chest. The only sounds Gordon hears now is the breeze passing by the open windows, the idle whirring and beeping of the machines and devices at his bedside, and Benrey's steady breathing in and out.

"Where's everyone else?" Gordon asks after a pause.

"Whuh- single partner not good for you? Need both? Need your two gay dads, too? Entire package deal, asshole?"

Gordon barks out laughter, clapping a hand over his mouth at the volume, then playfully shoving Benrey's shoulder.

"I mostly meant for Bubby and Coomer! I don't completely trust them not to be into some shit. Also, wait- my two gay dads?"

Benrey laughs and ignores his question. "Darnold got here 'bout an hour ago- he and Tommy went on a walk in the courtyard. The other two're in the cafeteria. Wanted to be early for when lunch rolls out, somethin' about making sure they get first pick. Coomer also mentioned something about jousting anyone who gets there before them? I dunno what the fuck jousting is."

"Please tell me you're joking," Gordon groans. _"Please_ don't tell me he actually said jousting."

Benrey cackles. "That's what he said, bro. I'm not lyin'. He was just kidding though. I think. Maybe."

Gordon groans again and runs a hand down his face. He really, _really_ doesn't think they can stand to be kicked out, unsure if Mr. Coolatta would be able to get another hospital on board with the secrecy shit they had to be sworn to, to not give Benrey up if Black Mesa shows up on their doorstep, or to hold any record of Gordon being treated there. Come to think of it, Gordon's main concern is with getting more people tangled up in this than there already has to be. The guilt just in being here- in getting innocent people even slightly involved in this bullshit- hasn't faded. His expression must give his worries away entirely, because Benrey's now sitting themself up to run a soothing hand up the side of his face.

"Hey, 's okay. They care about you too much to, uuh... get us booted. I'm sure they're not gonna do anything."

Gordon sighs and relaxes his tensed shoulders. "Yeah? How are you so sure they care that much?" He meant for it to come off as a joke, but Benrey frowns when his sentence concludes and presses themself closer.

"'Cause we all do? I mean- like, first night here, when you slept for a solid... what, seventeen hours? Coomer didn't leave you and Tommy _once_ , man. Passed out in the armchair and Bubby had to drag him back home. And Bubby- every time you shifted or made noise in your sleep, we had to hold him back from running and getting a nurse." Gordon snorts at that. "At one point, you shivered, and as soon as he got another blanket for you, Bubby just... stayed. Watched you super close for almost an hour after, makin' sure you weren't too warm or too cold."

"Wait, really?"

Benrey quirks up an eyebrow at his surprise. "Yeah, man. They love you. There's a lot to love..." their sentence trails off, and Benrey sighs, relaxing further into Gordon after he presses a kiss to their forehead.

"Oh, Gordon, you're up!"

They both open their eyes in time to see Tommy dash in, immediately taking Gordon's face into his hands and kissing the tip of his nose as he laughs. When Tommy tries to part, Gordon grins and lightly tugs him back down by his sleeve for a proper kiss, and he can feel Tommy smiling against his lips when he meets Gordon halfway.

Tommy and Gordon become wonderfully lost, kiss meant to be a brief greeting extended long beyond. Like gentle rains that soak the soil and reach to the roots, Gordon is thoroughly filled with overwhelming love in much the same way. His hand subconsciously tightens around Tommy's wrist, pleading with him not to move, pleading for just a little bit longer, and Tommy gives it without a second thought.

Gordon separates involuntarily when his abdomen cramps up without warning, sending him curling inward around a hiss, shoulder and ribs protesting heavily against the motion.

Tommy jumps back like he's been burned, hands hovering above Gordon, too afraid to so much as touch him.

"Gordon? Gordon?" Tommy tries and fails to keep a panicked waver out of his voice. "What's happening? Should I f- should I call for someone?"

"I- I don't know. I think it's jus- _mph!"_ He bites his lip as another especially strong wave of stomach pain sends chills dancing up and down his spine. When Tommy takes note of his hand and legs twitching, and tilts Gordon's face up to look him in the eye, staring into pupils widened and round, he understands all at once.

"Withdrawal," Tommy sighs, more a statement of fact than a question, and he looks so hurt in speaking it that the guilt washing over Gordon's stomach in droves hurts worse than the pain picking up all across his body.

"N- no, it's fine. It comes and goes, kinda in waves. Either my meds are wearing off, or it's just a spike," Gordon pants. "It'll- it's- it'll be okay, Tommy. Honest."

"Gonna go get a nurse, ask if there's somethin' they can do," Benrey slides off his lap and is out the door before Gordon can get in a word edgewise, and he can't stop himself from audibly whining at the separation. Tommy takes that as his cue to sit, immediately leaning into Gordon's side.

"It's okay, I'm not leaving," Tommy promises. "Are- is there anything I can do for you now?"

Gordon shakes his head and shrugs, just as unclear on what he needs as Tommy is. Unsatisfied with that answer, Tommy raises the back of their palm to Gordon's forehead, and his skin is markedly cool, prompting Gordon to sigh and rest the weight of his head against it. He almost falls forward when Tommy pulls back.

"You have a fever," he frowns. "It's... not the graft, is it? Do- does your skin feel hot or like it's burning? Around your right arm?"

"Huh? Graft?" Oh, that's right. _That_ explains the uncomfortable sensations he woke up with- the burns at the end of his right arm were severe enough to warrant a skin graft, and he'd just been brought back to his room after the procedure when he dozed off. Aside from feeling slightly itchy around the stitching, the donor site on his hip radiating a dull ache, and the skin at the end of his arm feeling both numb and oddly tingly, Gordon feels fine, so he says about as much.

Tommy sighs, a deep, relieved sigh, and rests his head atop Gordon's, hand loosely closing around his. They sit that way for a moment, Gordon's eyes drifting shut, before Tommy angles his head up and begins laying gentle kisses across his face. Going slow, he kisses a closed eyelid, then moves to Gordon's forehead, right above his brow, then the same on his right, then Gordon's other eyelid. Without meaning to, Gordon is all but holding his breath, tensing in quiet anticipation for Tommy's continued path downwards, and it feels like they're reuniting for the first time in years when their lips connect after what's only been mere minutes apart.

"Whoa, Gordon faking it so he can have one-on-one boyfriend smooch time? Fucked up if true," Benrey mumbles as a nurse slips in behind them.

Gordon barks out a laugh, but that regrettably prompts the tickle at the back of his throat to fully devolve into wheezing coughs that send sharp stings up and down his ribs. Tommy is fortunately quick in grabbing a pillow from the pile and pressing it against Gordon's front. He manages a smile as he grasps the pillowcase hard, Benrey moving in soon after to gently pat at his back until the hacking lets up.

"Benrey, _please_ stop making me laugh. You're gonna fuckin' kill me."

Benrey snickers. "Nah, man. Can't stop me from being hilarious and cool."

Gordon snorts as the nurse connects a vial to his drip, briefly mentioning the likelihood of the medication making him drowsy, and she takes her leave.

Gordon sighs once the door's shut. "Just what I need- even _more_ time fuckin'... comatose. I'm sorry, guys."

"Whuh- huh? What're you sorry for, man? Can't really help it. Besides," Benrey sits at the foot of his bed. "I think you need as much sleep as you can get. You've kinda, uh- got a lot goin' on."

"Kind of downplaying it, love." Gordon grins at Tommy's loving nickname for them, and if their expression's anything to go by, eyes wide and cheeks coloring, Benrey appreciates it just as much. As if that wasn't confirmation, Benrey scrambling across the bed to Tommy to press their lips to his is. Tommy laughs into the kiss, and Benrey responds by pressing closer, eager motions giving away entirely just how much Tommy's expression of affection does for them.

Traveling across a field of flowers, walking slowly, taking in every bloom separately, their initially hurried kiss extends into something more, something just as careful and deliberate, as if they're both trying to take in every detail, to remember exactly how it feels. Tommy cards his fingers through their hair, and when Benrey leans heavily into the touch, kisses him deeper, Tommy is completely lost amidst the blooms, world rendered into saturated color and sweet, gentle scents carried across the open air.

Gordon gazes at them with so much open adoration that when Benrey and Tommy part, they both move in at the same time to kiss his cheeks, the delighted laugh Gordon lets out at their coordination making them both break into wide smiles that prompt them to leave more light kisses across his face.

A rapping against the door snaps them from their affectionate stupor, and it's not another moment before Coomer, Bubby, and Darnold step in, Coomer's arms extended to support four plates of food while Bubby and Darnold carry their own.

"We have lunch!" Coomer exclaims proudly, steam still rising in droves when the tray is set in Gordon's lap. They must have hurried back to get it to him while it was still hot. Gordon's grin is wide when he turns to look at the three of them proper.

"I, uh, met up with 'em to help carry everything back, but... they had it covered!" Darnold chuckles sheepishly.

"Thank you," Gordon says, hopes it reflects just how incredibly grateful he is, for everything they've done and continue to do, everything he knows they'll do for him in the future, and- _fuck,_ they really care, don't they? Gordon's look of appreciation quickly grows teary, and he can't turn his head down fast enough to mask it.

"Now, come on," Bubby encourages softly, leaning over to nudge Gordon's knee. "Eat before it gets cold, or else it'll end up needing to be reheated," he grins, flames briefly flickering up an extended index. Gordon chuckles and clears his eyes, thanking them again as they all sit to eat, turning on the TV and skimming through the channels.

Gordon spares glances at each of them. It's so nice being able to take in their faces when their expressions aren't laced with fear, spattered in blood and wounds, emotions vacant, features hardened under the stress of just trying to survive. It feels like they're all finally doing more than surviving- they're _living._ The light cast from the TV paints them all in soft, muted tones, and it's here that it finally, completely clicks for Gordon that they've done it. They're out, and they're staying together, and nothing will ever keep them apart. Only about five minutes after they settle, there's a knock at the door.

"If that's another nurse with a bouquet, I'm gonna yell."

Benrey cackles. "Better get your shoutbox warmed up."

Gordon groans and throws his head back. "No, guys, c'mon. If they're for Tommy, that's fine, but I really don't need anym--"

The complaints die on his tongue when the nurse steps in. Beautiful, full hydrangeas, all in bright, vibrant blues, practically spilling from their vase, and that's all Gordon has time to take in before his vision blurs, eyes welling with tears.

"Y- you d- you didn't h--" Gordon stutters.

"We had to. And we did!" Tommy beams.

"They're from all of us," Darnold sits on the edge of Gordon's bed with a smile. "Or... at least they should be. Did one of you type up the gift message? I sent mine in the group text."

Gordon sniffles, clearing his eyes, and when the name "Gordo Martinis Feetman" stares back at him, he doesn't have to wonder which of them was tasked with transcribing their messages.

_Told you if I dated a guy as handsome as you, someone would have to stop me from buying him flowers every day. No one's stopped me yet.  
_ _Yours, and you can't get rid of me, Benrey._

_I'm not sure if these are from Seattle, but I hope they mean enough anyway. You deserve the world, Gordon. You're already mine.  
_ _Lots of love, Tommy._

_We didn't exactly get the time to know each other, but I hope that's going to change. Though it's not enough on its own, thank you for stopping the world from ending. Kind of a big deal.  
_ _Sincerely, Darnold._

_For the man who led us out of the apocalypse. They should be throwing flowers at your feet for what you did, but since no one's stepping up to the plate, guess it'll just have to be us.  
_ _Love, Professor Bubby._

Gordon snorts around his tears, but decides to keep that part of the note to himself. One last paragraph to read.

_To a brilliant, selfless man who pulled us from deep below the earth and took us to another world, who never let there be any other option than kindness, I hope you enjoy this gift from your family. It certainly won't be the last. I'm so proud of you.  
_ _Love, Dr. Coomer._

Gordon can't keep the sounds trapped in his throat at bay anymore, and he drops his head to sob, but the tears don't burn and sting and leave a gnawing exhaustion deep in his bones like they did in Black Mesa. The tears now are happy ones, disbelieving ones, ones of not understanding what he ever did to deserve them all, but being so unspeakably happy that he has them. That gratitude only grows immensely when they all stand and step forward to bring him into their arms, and none of them say a word when he momentarily cries harder, none of them protest when he buries their face into their shoulders, none of them pull away until Gordon's shudders die down. He stays in his family's arms long enough that his brain finally starts to let him believe in how much they love him.

They eventually part, and Gordon nearly cries again when he sees they've all been crying, too. They wordlessly dry each other's eyes as they all resettle, pressing ever closer to Gordon, scooting their chairs as close to his bedside as possible, each of their hands extended to him, resting on his arms, his knees, clasping his hand.

Moments after his plate's cleared, Gordon's eyelids have grown too heavy to fight anymore. He jolts back awake, head abruptly shooting back up from where it's began to slump forward.

"Don't fight it, bro," Benrey chuckles. "Go to sleep, Gordon."

"Nnh," Gordon groans. "Don't- don't wanna. Darnold just... got here, I shouldn't- we should be--"

"I'll be here 'til you wake up, Gordon," Darnold promises quietly. "We're not goin' anywhere. You should sleep."

"Mm..." he startles himself awake again. "Nh- no, I d- I can't--"

"It's okay," Tommy murmurs, soothing hand running through his curls. "It's okay, Gordon. If you're w- if you're worrying about having a nightmare, don't be. I'll wake you if it happens."

"Swear? You- I don't..." his words trail off slowly, and they all ready themselves to dispute his continued protests. None of them say a word more when Gordon's soft snores fill the room instead. They only smile, carefully collecting his tray after turning the TV down and gently easing him back into the mountain of blankets and pillows. Benrey and Tommy both catch it when Gordon smiles in his sleep after they curl up beside him.

He sleeps soundly through the afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! This was so fun to write. More sappy romance content, please and thank you. Thanks to Ruby_Dragonryder specifically for mentioning the idea for this one- I had it, too, but I totally would have forgotten and moved onto something else. I'm so glad I didn't! If you have any ideas for other things I could write, I'd love to hear 'em! Either in the comments here, or at my HLVRAI sideblog on Tumblr, peeperpuppyden! Thank you so much for reading. Bye for now!


End file.
